Love is patient

This is a wonderful chapter I read in one of my daily devotions. I really think this speaks volumes to a lot of parents, including myself. I just thought I would share with you since I really enjoyed reading this. I hope it brings a little encouragement to you!


Love is Patient

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 ESV)

When you truly love someone, two key attributes will show up on a regular basis: patience and kindness. In fact, many other characteristics of love are based upon these two attributes. Patients is how love diffuses something negative; kindness is how love initiates something positive. One takes in a deep breath; the other breaths out life. As you know, raising a child requires a unlimited supply of both. But today, we will focus on the first of these two essentials...patience. 

  Patience is when love chooses to "suffer long" for the greater good of another. It is like a experienced farmer who knows that fruitful fields only come if he is willing to endure the heat of the sun. Patience is like a wise builder who spends long hours slaving over blueprints, negotiating contracts, and overseeing supplies so his desired vision can become a reality. Both the farmer and the builder must persist when they want to resist. They must daily keep investing time and hard effort until they can celebrate the great harvest or the open house.

  Likewise, being a loving parent requires a long supply of this amazing attribute. You are cultivating and building up your children, and all of your hard work and sacrifice will ultamitely pay off. But today requires your enduring patience. It is something we all need but rarely delight in demonstrating.  Yet love invites us to exercise it frequently as parents. And when we do, it brings maturity both to us and our children, as well as needed grace and peace in the midst of our problems.

  Children have an amazing ability to test the level of their parents' patients by their tone, disobedience, irresponsibility, or any lack of respect. Sometimes parents can feel so angry, they say or do things in the heat of the emotion that damages young hearts and minds. The impact can leave a deep and lasting emotional scar for many years to come.

  This is why we find God's patients so exemplary. When Moses was on the mountaintop, he discovered why God kept putting up with His rebellious, complaining children: God was "compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness"(Exodus 34:6). He let His overflowing love control  His anger. Whenever he did choose to be angry and firm, it was only after multiple, extended demonstrations of His compassion and patience.

  Today, God is still gracious and patient with us as His children. So when we are unlovable and selfish, distracted and disobedient, we need to remember His enduring love for us and let His example of love overflow onto us and our children.

  We must refuse to spring off the handle in front of our offspring. When they see controlling our anger, it teaches them to control theirs. The scripture says "be angry, and yet do not sin"(Ephesians 4:26). Sometimes anger is appropriate, but we should never let it get out of bounds. Discipline and correction must be wisely rationed, but only after we've first demonstrated loving patients.

 Do you children see you as an angry, frustrated parent? Or would they describe you as compassionate and patient instead? Love chooses restraint. It controls your emotions rather than letting them control you. It challenges you to develop a long fuse instead of igniting a short temper. If you unnecessarily blow your top, it reminds you to humble yourself and quickly apologize, knowing much is at stake. Wrath, on the other hand, is cruel( Proverbs 27:4). It divides and isolates. It weakens us and wounds others. I causes us to behave in foolish, regrettable ways. It almost never makes things better and usually generates additional problems.

 If you struggle with anger, ask yourself why. Are your expectations realistic? Are you angry with somebody else, yet taking it out on your kids? You may harbor painful memories of a parent's harsh anger toward you when you were young. But this pain doesn't need to be passed on to your children.

 Sometimes anger is rooted in our own sin or hypocrisy. We often get the most agry with our kids in the same areas where we ourselves are weak. But overreacting to wrongful actions and attitudes that are familiar to us doesn't do anything to "fix"  us, and it only frustrates them. That's where a humble confession may yield more effective instruction then the firm anger of your correction. When they know you love them and can admit your own humanity, your counsel and training carry much more meaning.

  Patience is always welcome. It gives people more time to work through their issues. It beautifully diffuses conflict before trouble has a chance to escalate. It whispers peace into situations brewing towards eruption. It's not a blanket form of tolerance that lets everything go, but rather a wise surveyor of the situation, allowing  proper steps to be taken.

 Parenting does call for action against carelessness and defiance. But we must differentiate between true rebellion and what might be childish ignorance. Our kids don't think like us; why do we expect them to act like us? We must factor in the circumstances, their age, and their level of maturity.
 So instead of raising up and tearing down, let love calm you down. Then you can build them up. The more patient you are today, the more victories you can celebrate tomorrow.


Write the word " LOVE IS PATIENT" on a piece of paper and temporarily tape it to your mirror or refrigerator. When you see it over the next few weeks, purpose to display patients throughout the day as a further demonstration of your Love to your children.