I have three small children, plus I'm a nanny for a sweet little girl, whom I love like my own. I love all of them to pieces. They bring me so much joy and my life would feel empty without them. I stay home full time and homeschool them. I often get told that I must be super mom. Or "how do I do it all?" I felt like I needed to share "how I do it".
I have good days where I feel organized, I'm able to cook nice meals, manage a lot of housework, teach a good day of school and have time for ministry or activities. Good days when I love my children and my husband well. These are the days most of you know, because I often take pictures and post to my Instagram page or write about it on facebook. I'm proud of these days and of my children and I like to share that with everyone.
But then, the very next day I can have three fighting kids that don't get along, a husband who is working all day and night, nothing to cook for dinner (so we eat cereal or Frozen pizza) sweats on and my hair in a messy bun(that is actually every single day, that's why you don't see very many pictures of myself) no make up on(also every single day) no clean laundry to wear. House is a mess, dishes that need done, and a mile long to do list that won't get finished. Definitely not the perfect, organized day.
That second scenario seems more the norm than the first day. I get frustrated with my kids, lose my temper and snap at them. Then feel like a horrible mother and run to ask forgiveness. I fail all of the time. It feels like a never ending cycle of good for a while, then bad. Good, then bad.
Why can't I just be in a good mood and have my life run smoothly everyday like that first day scenario?
Why can't I love my husband and children well ALL of the time?
Why do I feel like I'm suffocating in stress and snap at people for no reason some days?
Why can't we have more money and be able to pay all of our debt?
Why can't we just have our own home already?
Why does my husband have to work 80hrs a week and miss so much?
Why can't I just talk sweet all of the time and have tons of patients with my children? You know, like the Michelle duggar kind of patients?
Why can't my house just STAY organized after I spend so much effort to make it that way?
Why?
Wait a minute. You thought I was sharing a tutorial of how I keep my life together so perfectly and run my household smoothly? Oh yes, on to that.
The answer is....I'm human. I'm not perfect. My home isn't always together.I can't do it all. Life happens. Life isn't always pretty. I can't get up and slap a smile on my face every single day and pretend like life isn't happening around me. I can't always control my emotions and not let things bother me. I can't be needed 24/7 by 4 people and not feel tired or run down at times. I cant watch people around me suffer and die and not feel sadness and heartache. I can't add more hours to the day to accomplish my mile long to do list. I can't make money grow on trees. I can't even shower everyday! I.Can't.Do.It
But.....
I don't have to do all of that. I have someone who takes care of it all for me. He is pretty perfect and I wouldn't have any of those good days without his help.
When I'm full of Impatience and irritated with my two year old, He whispers in my ear "calm down, It's okay. I'm here, let me help" .
When I'm feeling run down and tired, he reminds me to slow down and rest.
When I feel like I'm a horrible mother and wife, he tells me he loves me and I'm cherished.
When I feel like I can't get up and continue on, he picks me up and carries me.
When I fail and fall into sin, he tells me I'm forgiven and i'm still loved.
When Im lost, he directs my steps and brings me back home.
When someone hurts me, he heals me.
When I want everything to be perfect, he reminds me of what's important.
When I'm ungrateful for what I have, he reminds me how blessed I am.
When I feel ugly, He tells me I'm fearfully and wonderfully made in his image.
When I'm in need, he provides.
When I'm sad, he brings me joy and comfort.
When I need someone to talk to, he listens and he gets me.
He is my hope. He is my hero. He is my savior.
I greatly need him more and more everyday. He is enough for me. It's only through him that I make it through the day. He is my all and all, to him be all the glory. I'm not the one in control, he is. He has walked in my shoes, and endured much more than I could ever Imagine. He overcame this life for me and tells me to fear not.
So that's it. That's my secret. Accept it isn't a secret, and I hope that you also will know him if you don't already. His arms are wide open, waiting for you. Calling you by name. He loves you. It's never too late
"Hallelujah, forever
All the glory, forever
All the praise to you
My heart will sing
No other name
Jesus, Jesus"
I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies. The cords of death encompassed me; the torrents of destruction assailed me; the cords of Sheol entangled me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears. Then the earth reeled and rocked; the foundations also of the mountains trembled and quaked, because he was angry. Smoke went up from his nostrils, and devouring fire from his mouth; glowing coals flamed forth from him. He bowed the heavens and came down; thick darkness was under his feet. He rode on a cherub and flew; he came swiftly on the wings of the wind. He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him, thick clouds dark with water. Out of the brightness before him hailstones and coals of fire broke through his clouds. The Lord also thundered in the heavens, and the Most High uttered his voice, hailstones and coals of fire. And he sent out his arrows and scattered them; he flashed forth lightnings and routed them. Then the channels of the sea were seen, and the foundations of the world were laid bare at your rebuke, O Lord, at the blast of the breath of your nostrils. He sent from on high, he took me; he drew me out of many waters. He rescued me from my strong enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me. (Psalm 18:1-19 ESV)
