Here is the last devotion from the "No more unglued momma mornings". You can find the full devotional on the you version Bible app. I'm reading her book "unglued" right now and it's a wonderful book, check it out!
Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. (1 Timothy 4:15 ESV)
IMPERFECT PROGRESS
What kept me from making changes with unglued mama mornings for so long was the feeling I wouldn't do it perfectly. I knew I'd still mess up and come unglued. Sometimes we girls think if we don't make instant progress, then real change isn't coming.
But that's not so.
There is a beautiful reality called imperfect progress. The day I realized the glorious hope of this kind of imperfect change is the day I gave myself permission to believe I really could be different.
Imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace … imperfect progress. And good heavens, I need lots of that. So, I dared to write this in my journal:
Progress. Just make progress. It's okay to have setbacks and to need do-overs. It's okay to draw a line in the sand and start over again—and again. Just make sure you're moving the line forward. Move forward. Take baby steps, but at least take steps that keep you from being stuck. Then change will come. And it will be good.
These honest words enabled me to begin rewriting my story. Not that I erased what came before, but I stopped rehashing it and turned the page afresh. Eventually, I started blogging about my raw emotions and imperfect changes. In response, I got comments whispering, "Me too."
"Being unglued, for me, comes from a combination of anger and fear," wrote Kathy. "I think part of it is learned behavior. This is how my father was." Courtney honestly admitted, "I come unglued when I feel out of control because my kids are screaming or fighting or whining or negotiating and won't listen. I like silence, calm, obedience, and control. When it's not going 'my way,' I come unglued and freak out and it goes quiet. And then the regret comes."
And the comments kept coming, all of them expressing the exact same struggle, the same frustration, and the same need for hope. So many women whose daily circumstances differed but whose core issues were the same.
I realized then that maybe other women could make some imperfect progress too. And a book idea was born from that simple realization. But I had to laugh at the irony of it. I had just published a book called Made to Crave that dealt with what goes into my mouth. Now I was writing a book called Unglued to deal with what comes out of my mouth.
This Unglued journey is about my imperfect progress. It's an honest admission that this struggle of reining in how I react has been hard for me. But hard doesn't mean impossible.
How hard something is often depends on your vantage point.
For example, consider the shell of an egg. Looking at it from the outside, we know an eggshell is easily broken. But if you're looking at that same shell from the inside, it seems an impenetrable fortress. It's impossible for the raw white and tender yolk to penetrate the hardness of the eggshell.
But given time and the proper incubation, the white and yolk develop into a new life that breaks through the shell and shakes itself free. And in the end, we can see that the hard work of cracking the shell was good for the new baby chick.
The shell actually provided a place for new life to grow, and then enabled the chick to break forth in strength.
Might the same be true for our hard places? Might all this struggle with our raw emotions and unglued feelings have the exact same potential for new life and new strength?
I think so. I know so. I've seen so.
Mother Teresa is quoted as saying, "Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." Make some small imperfect progress today and discover your potential for new life and new strength.
MAKING IT A REALITY:
For the next week, write the words imperfect progress at the top of every day's to do list. If you have a smart phone, set an alert to pop up each morning of this week to remind you, "Make imperfect progress today." Then determine that making imperfect progress with your reactions is the most important thing you can accomplish today.
Tiffany's Blog!
Friday, June 7, 2013
Thursday, June 6, 2013
BRING IT!
Today's devotion from the author of "unglued" and "made to crave". Which are two really great books!
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. (Colossians 3:2 ESV)
BRING IT!
Just in case you aren't feeling like mother of the year today, let me make you feel better. While I was packing lunches recently my daughter said with great urgency, "Mom, just make sure none of the food you are packing in my lunch is rotten."
Alrighty then. A statement like that will just build your mom confidence ALL DAY LONG!
Do you ever have these little zingers that fly into your morning and sting your heart? I suspect you do. And it's these kinds of things that can catch us off guard and start ratcheting up the tension that leads to coming unglued.
We don't want to be unglued mamas. We don't want to have mornings filled with unglued moments. So, today let's think about what we do want our mornings to be filled with ... love, peace, joy, sanity, kind words, and interactions with our kids that won't be retold years later on some therapist's couch.
Yes, that's what we want.
But here's the tricky part: I can't control the unpredictable attitudes my kids are going to bring into each morning.
I can't set my hope for a good morning on what my kids might or might not do. I must bring the attitude with which I want the morning to be filled. Just like our key verse says, I have to set my mind on things from above ... things from God.
A few years ago my friend Angela Thomas challenged me with this "bring it" idea. We were talking about how sometimes when we show up to speak the audience seems a little lacking in energy. As a speaker, it's really hard to step in front of an audience with very low energy. So, Angela decides what kind of energy the room needs to be filled with and she brings it as she steps on stage.
She focuses her energy on what she has control over.
She can't control the mood of an audience any more than we can control the moods of our kids. But we can determine if a good mood is what we want as we pack lunches, sign last minute permission slips, and pile backpacks into the car, then we can make the choice to bring it.
Here are three reminders that will help us bring it:
1. Feelings are indicators not dictators.
I'm not always going to have blissful, happy feelings. I'm just not. But while my feelings may indicate I have some things to address, they don't have to dictate a bad mood. It's time for me to be the boss of my feelings and determine to bring the joy I want my home to be filled with today.
2. Bad moments don't make bad mamas.
Have you ever caught yourself labeling the kind of mother you are in light of a few bad moments with your kids? "I'm not patient." "I lose it all the time." "I'm the most disorganized mother on the planet."
Me too.
But these labels won't help us bring more joy into our mornings—they'll just bog us down. Here's the reality ... just because I have an impatient moment doesn't mean I'm an impatient mother. We need to stop the self-condemning labels by matching each negative moment with a positive reality. Maybe I had an impatient moment when I helped with homework last night but this morning I'm bringing patience in the way I helped my daughter find something to wear.
3. Find the joy treasure.
There will be a treasure hidden in the moments you experience this morning. Look for it.
Look for the way she tucks her curls behind her ears and ties the ribbon in her hair. Look for the way he fiddles with his hat trying to look cool. Take a snapshot this morning of this joy treasure. Don't miss it. When you find it, tuck it in your heart and let it sink deep. These are the moments that form that wellspring of joy and help us keep bringing it.
Peace, love, joy, patience, kindness—these are the things with which we want to fill our mornings. Despite the circumstances we face and the attitudes of others, it is possible to have this wonderful atmosphere—if we decide to bring it.
MAKING IT A REALITY:
Make the choice to bring the atmosphere you want by writing out the words that describe what you want your morning to be like. Try using a dry erase marker on your bathroom mirror. You can also write these 3 statements for "bringing it" on other windows and mirrors throughout your home:
* "Feelings are indicators not dictators."
* "Bad moments don't make bad mamas."
* "Find the joy treasure."
When your family asks you about these statements you've written, just smile and proudly proclaim, "They help me bring it."
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. (Colossians 3:2 ESV)
BRING IT!
Just in case you aren't feeling like mother of the year today, let me make you feel better. While I was packing lunches recently my daughter said with great urgency, "Mom, just make sure none of the food you are packing in my lunch is rotten."
Alrighty then. A statement like that will just build your mom confidence ALL DAY LONG!
Do you ever have these little zingers that fly into your morning and sting your heart? I suspect you do. And it's these kinds of things that can catch us off guard and start ratcheting up the tension that leads to coming unglued.
We don't want to be unglued mamas. We don't want to have mornings filled with unglued moments. So, today let's think about what we do want our mornings to be filled with ... love, peace, joy, sanity, kind words, and interactions with our kids that won't be retold years later on some therapist's couch.
Yes, that's what we want.
But here's the tricky part: I can't control the unpredictable attitudes my kids are going to bring into each morning.
I can't set my hope for a good morning on what my kids might or might not do. I must bring the attitude with which I want the morning to be filled. Just like our key verse says, I have to set my mind on things from above ... things from God.
A few years ago my friend Angela Thomas challenged me with this "bring it" idea. We were talking about how sometimes when we show up to speak the audience seems a little lacking in energy. As a speaker, it's really hard to step in front of an audience with very low energy. So, Angela decides what kind of energy the room needs to be filled with and she brings it as she steps on stage.
She focuses her energy on what she has control over.
She can't control the mood of an audience any more than we can control the moods of our kids. But we can determine if a good mood is what we want as we pack lunches, sign last minute permission slips, and pile backpacks into the car, then we can make the choice to bring it.
Here are three reminders that will help us bring it:
1. Feelings are indicators not dictators.
I'm not always going to have blissful, happy feelings. I'm just not. But while my feelings may indicate I have some things to address, they don't have to dictate a bad mood. It's time for me to be the boss of my feelings and determine to bring the joy I want my home to be filled with today.
2. Bad moments don't make bad mamas.
Have you ever caught yourself labeling the kind of mother you are in light of a few bad moments with your kids? "I'm not patient." "I lose it all the time." "I'm the most disorganized mother on the planet."
Me too.
But these labels won't help us bring more joy into our mornings—they'll just bog us down. Here's the reality ... just because I have an impatient moment doesn't mean I'm an impatient mother. We need to stop the self-condemning labels by matching each negative moment with a positive reality. Maybe I had an impatient moment when I helped with homework last night but this morning I'm bringing patience in the way I helped my daughter find something to wear.
3. Find the joy treasure.
There will be a treasure hidden in the moments you experience this morning. Look for it.
Look for the way she tucks her curls behind her ears and ties the ribbon in her hair. Look for the way he fiddles with his hat trying to look cool. Take a snapshot this morning of this joy treasure. Don't miss it. When you find it, tuck it in your heart and let it sink deep. These are the moments that form that wellspring of joy and help us keep bringing it.
Peace, love, joy, patience, kindness—these are the things with which we want to fill our mornings. Despite the circumstances we face and the attitudes of others, it is possible to have this wonderful atmosphere—if we decide to bring it.
MAKING IT A REALITY:
Make the choice to bring the atmosphere you want by writing out the words that describe what you want your morning to be like. Try using a dry erase marker on your bathroom mirror. You can also write these 3 statements for "bringing it" on other windows and mirrors throughout your home:
* "Feelings are indicators not dictators."
* "Bad moments don't make bad mamas."
* "Find the joy treasure."
When your family asks you about these statements you've written, just smile and proudly proclaim, "They help me bring it."
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
I am the MOM
Just passing on another one of the devotions I've been reading. Being a mom is hard work, but totally worth it :) This is something I needed today!
Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:5, 6 ESV)
I AM THE MOM
I find being a mom the most stretching thing I've ever done. I carry with me evidence of this stretching. Marks on my body. Marks on my heart.
It's thrilling. Heartbreaking. Sweet. Exciting. Disillusioning. And incredibly unpredictable.
Just when I think I've figured a few things out and I'm about to shine my mommy halo, something happens. Something loud and tearful and frustratingly difficult. And I find myself knee deep in drama wondering if I will survive with any sanity at all.
It makes me laugh when I think back to being pregnant with my first child eighteen years ago. I was convinced I would die in the child birthing process. I even set up a special meeting with my doctor to go over exactly what happens in the birthing process and tearfully gave him all the reasons I was convinced I would not survive this process.
I so wish I could go stand in front of my little, um huge, pregnant self and say this:
"Honey, you will not perish giving birth. This part of motherhood will seem like a walk in the park in just a few years. You will not only survive giving birth but you are about to spend the next twenty years having your tiny little brain and your tiny little heart experience more highs and lows than you can shake a stick at. Just remember one thing ... You are the mom. That's right you da' mama. Repeat after me ... I am the Mom. I am the Mom. I am the Mom! Don't ever forget that."
Yes, I would tell my little huge pregnant self that because it's easy to forget sometimes who's really in charge. My kids want to be in charge. And while they certainly have the strong wills and wonders of leadership ... my husband is quick to remind me, it's immature leadership. Leadership that needs to be shaped and molded and corrected and reigned in.
Zephaniah 3:17 (NKJV) says, "The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."
Philippians 4:5b-6a (NIV 1984) says, "The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything."
This reminds me I am not left to my own pitiful attempts at this daunting task but because Jesus is with me I have power. Real power. Not just theories and words given by human parenting experts whose advice may or may not work. I have power to rise up to be da' mama.
God has appointed me to be in charge which means, using the maturity and wisdom I've gained, I must shape and mold my kids. I can't let them use their immaturity and limited perspectives to dictate me.
I am the mom. Therefore I must be the mom. And one of the best ways to implement this during stressful mornings is to remember: My kid's irresponsibility will not become my emergency.
I need to communicate my expectations to the kids so they know they are going to have to own the consequences of their choices.
For example, if they wait until the last minute to print their report and the printer has no ink, then they can't print their report. They'll either have to figure out how to print it at school or turn it in late. Either way, I can't own this situation and let it throw me into frantic, fix-it mode. I let the consequences of their choices scream, so I don't have to.
I have what it takes to be the mom!
You have what it takes to be the mom!
Now, be the mom!
Not sure who else needed this little pep rally this morning. But I sure did.
MAKING IT A REALITY:
Go ahead and think through some logical and realistic consequences you can give when your kids need your correction. This is especially good to have for rushed and stressful morning routines. For example, tell them what time you expect them to be in the car ready to go. For every minute they are late, they will have to go to bed 10 minutes early that night. Six minutes late will mean they'll be heading to bed an hour early. For older kids you might want to adjust their weekend curfew t
Monday, June 3, 2013
Managing Blessings
Just wanted to share my devotional from this morning. I've been reading through a new one with my Bible app about motherhood and some of the trials we have on a daily basis. I have really enjoyed reading it and I thought you may enjoy it too!
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV)
MANAGING BLESSINGS
I have never been a member of the perfect mom's club. Never. But if I ever was, I'll tell you about the day my membership would have surely been revoked.
It was my youngest daughter, Brooke's big "Let's Celebrate Mommy Day" at the church preschool. All the mommies waited excitedly in the hall for little hands to put last minute touches on the well-decorated room.
I was already feeling off as I stood with all the other moms who'd actually taken time to do their hair and wear outfits. My wet hair was slicked back haphazardly in a banana clip. My black yoga pants had some sort of smear across the thigh. And my tennis shoes looked clunky standing with all the other cute sandals and well pedicured toes.
Finally, the teacher came to the classroom door and welcomed us inside.
A room full of cupcakes, giggles, claps and sparkling preschool eyes greeted us.
The highlight of the room was the clothesline with pinned artistic treasures. Each child had been asked to draw a picture of their mommy's favorite place. Then the teacher wrote below the crayon masterpiece what the child said when drawing the picture.
There were pictures of beaches and mountains and even a grocery store. The preciousness abounded. Until. I got to the picture featuring my favorite place.
"My mommy's favorite place is in bed with Daddy."
Oh have mercy on my soul that could die a thousand deaths right here in the preschool room.
Yes. I kid you not.
My only saving grace was that both mommy and daddy were fully clothed, sitting on the bed eating ice cream.
But still.
The rhythm of motherhood will always be set to a slightly chaotic beat. I can be rattled to the core by the unpredictability of it all. Or I can choose to laugh, dance, and remember I'm managing blessings.
So, this morning when things start swirling and you can feel your attitude slipping, whisper to yourself, "All of this is evidence that I'm managing blessings." And then thank heaven above that your kid didn't draw "that" picture.
MAKING IT A REALITY:
Write each of your kids a note and list five things you've noticed about them lately that you love and admire. It's amazing what happens in our hearts and theirs when we focus on their blessings rather than their chaos.
I have never been a member of the perfect mom's club. Never. But if I ever was, I'll tell you about the day my membership would have surely been revoked.
It was my youngest daughter, Brooke's big "Let's Celebrate Mommy Day" at the church preschool. All the mommies waited excitedly in the hall for little hands to put last minute touches on the well-decorated room.
I was already feeling off as I stood with all the other moms who'd actually taken time to do their hair and wear outfits. My wet hair was slicked back haphazardly in a banana clip. My black yoga pants had some sort of smear across the thigh. And my tennis shoes looked clunky standing with all the other cute sandals and well pedicured toes.
Finally, the teacher came to the classroom door and welcomed us inside.
A room full of cupcakes, giggles, claps and sparkling preschool eyes greeted us.
The highlight of the room was the clothesline with pinned artistic treasures. Each child had been asked to draw a picture of their mommy's favorite place. Then the teacher wrote below the crayon masterpiece what the child said when drawing the picture.
There were pictures of beaches and mountains and even a grocery store. The preciousness abounded. Until. I got to the picture featuring my favorite place.
"My mommy's favorite place is in bed with Daddy."
Oh have mercy on my soul that could die a thousand deaths right here in the preschool room.
Yes. I kid you not.
My only saving grace was that both mommy and daddy were fully clothed, sitting on the bed eating ice cream.
But still.
The rhythm of motherhood will always be set to a slightly chaotic beat. I can be rattled to the core by the unpredictability of it all. Or I can choose to laugh, dance, and remember I'm managing blessings.
So, this morning when things start swirling and you can feel your attitude slipping, whisper to yourself, "All of this is evidence that I'm managing blessings." And then thank heaven above that your kid didn't draw "that" picture.
MAKING IT A REALITY:
Write each of your kids a note and list five things you've noticed about them lately that you love and admire. It's amazing what happens in our hearts and theirs when we focus on their blessings rather than their chaos.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Quite a eventful two weeks....
Well Hello!
It seems like its been forever since I updated the blogs! With all the crazy Oklahoma weather and then losing power for the past couple days, I haven't had a minute to sit down long enough to get on here. So here's a post to catch you up, and hopefully this week will be much less crazy and I can get back to a somewhat normal routine again.
Tonight is our first night sleeping back at home since Fridays storms came through our area. We are SO happy to be back home and we feel SO grateful that we have a home still standing to come to. The past two weeks have been quite a emotional ride and I will say I am SO ready for the Hot summer weather and I am totally over spring!
I've learned a few lessons after the crazy tornado events we have had here.
#1. We need to buy a storm shelter ASAP! I am grateful that my parents have a safe room, but I've realized after the Moore tornado on the 20th that I might not always have time to run across town to my moms(by the time we made it to my moms through traffic the tornado was already on the ground 3 miles from my house!)
#2: I will be getting better insurance
#3: I will NEVER listen to my husband and let him stay at work on a day when they have the whole city shut down by 4:00, and are live streaming waiting for big tornadoes to come barreling through the city. He is pretty stubborn sometimes, and Friday he was one of the crazies out driving in between tornadoes trying to find a place to take shelter, it was 10:00 before he finally made it home and it was a long evening of me not knowing where he was or if he was okay. At first he said he was at work and there was a shelter, so I was okay with him staying. Next thing I know the sky is dropping down huge tornadoes left and right, the weather man is going crazy and saying things like "huge wedge tornadoes, multi vortex, killer tornado and may 3rd. I'm seeing things on facebook of people getting sucked off the highway, at that point my husbands last words to me before we got disconnected were "I'm in my truck and headed towards Newcastle, I can see a tornado just north of me over mustang area", then dial tones and busy signals. It was over a hour before I learned that he found a Walmart to take shelter in until it all passed and he was okay (thankfully). I didn't know whether I wanted to hurt him or hug him when he walked in the door, but I went with the hug....and I may have made a few threats if he ever tried that again :)
#4: battery operated fans will come in handy if we ever have to pile in a safe room again, those rooms get HOT, and crying, hot kids are no fun.
#5 and most important: God is in control, and it feels so good knowing that even when I am stressed or overwhelmed, I can turn to him and he comforts and helps me get through it. I'm still learning not to worry about things and that I shouldn't fear, but I'm not perfect and sometimes I do get scared. sometimes I get overwhelmed and caught up in a moment, I've felt like God is so far away and sometimes I lose my cool and fall apart. But that's okay, that just means I'm human and I need Jesus all the more. When I'm weak and suffering he is strong and he uses those hard and scary times to remind me of my weakness and dependence on him. I am not strong enough to handle things on my own, but HE is strong and HE is the one I should turn to in times of hardship, not just the happy times when things are going my way. He continues to pick me back up when I fall and he teaches me new things everyday. He doesn't promise me a easy life that is care free, but he does promise that this life is as bad as it will get for me. One day there will be no more tornadoes, no more death, no more sickness and no more struggles, and in the mean time he is here to help carry me through. I am VERY grateful for that.
Our thoughts and prayers are with all the families who have lost loved ones in the past couple weeks. We are praying for our state and with Gods help we will be able to get through all of this!
It seems like its been forever since I updated the blogs! With all the crazy Oklahoma weather and then losing power for the past couple days, I haven't had a minute to sit down long enough to get on here. So here's a post to catch you up, and hopefully this week will be much less crazy and I can get back to a somewhat normal routine again.
Tonight is our first night sleeping back at home since Fridays storms came through our area. We are SO happy to be back home and we feel SO grateful that we have a home still standing to come to. The past two weeks have been quite a emotional ride and I will say I am SO ready for the Hot summer weather and I am totally over spring!
I've learned a few lessons after the crazy tornado events we have had here.
#1. We need to buy a storm shelter ASAP! I am grateful that my parents have a safe room, but I've realized after the Moore tornado on the 20th that I might not always have time to run across town to my moms(by the time we made it to my moms through traffic the tornado was already on the ground 3 miles from my house!)
#2: I will be getting better insurance
#3: I will NEVER listen to my husband and let him stay at work on a day when they have the whole city shut down by 4:00, and are live streaming waiting for big tornadoes to come barreling through the city. He is pretty stubborn sometimes, and Friday he was one of the crazies out driving in between tornadoes trying to find a place to take shelter, it was 10:00 before he finally made it home and it was a long evening of me not knowing where he was or if he was okay. At first he said he was at work and there was a shelter, so I was okay with him staying. Next thing I know the sky is dropping down huge tornadoes left and right, the weather man is going crazy and saying things like "huge wedge tornadoes, multi vortex, killer tornado and may 3rd. I'm seeing things on facebook of people getting sucked off the highway, at that point my husbands last words to me before we got disconnected were "I'm in my truck and headed towards Newcastle, I can see a tornado just north of me over mustang area", then dial tones and busy signals. It was over a hour before I learned that he found a Walmart to take shelter in until it all passed and he was okay (thankfully). I didn't know whether I wanted to hurt him or hug him when he walked in the door, but I went with the hug....and I may have made a few threats if he ever tried that again :)
#4: battery operated fans will come in handy if we ever have to pile in a safe room again, those rooms get HOT, and crying, hot kids are no fun.
#5 and most important: God is in control, and it feels so good knowing that even when I am stressed or overwhelmed, I can turn to him and he comforts and helps me get through it. I'm still learning not to worry about things and that I shouldn't fear, but I'm not perfect and sometimes I do get scared. sometimes I get overwhelmed and caught up in a moment, I've felt like God is so far away and sometimes I lose my cool and fall apart. But that's okay, that just means I'm human and I need Jesus all the more. When I'm weak and suffering he is strong and he uses those hard and scary times to remind me of my weakness and dependence on him. I am not strong enough to handle things on my own, but HE is strong and HE is the one I should turn to in times of hardship, not just the happy times when things are going my way. He continues to pick me back up when I fall and he teaches me new things everyday. He doesn't promise me a easy life that is care free, but he does promise that this life is as bad as it will get for me. One day there will be no more tornadoes, no more death, no more sickness and no more struggles, and in the mean time he is here to help carry me through. I am VERY grateful for that.
Our thoughts and prayers are with all the families who have lost loved ones in the past couple weeks. We are praying for our state and with Gods help we will be able to get through all of this!
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